Finding Balance

If you read my last post then you know that my wife and I have recently added a son to our growing brood.  Charlie William has joined John Alexander at the table and I am now just two boys shy of a middle infield or three shy of a travel basketball team.  Between my wife and I we have a combined four sisters…so needless to say one boy was unexpected let alone two.  My wife is a saint already…but now with two boys…three if you include me…I’m thanking her early and often for her patience.  With the birth of Charlie I was able to take some time off from work, working out, and life in general.  If you are not yet blessed with children…the time spent in the hospital during those initial days is an amazing time.  It is like time stops and and the only thing that is present and that matters is you and your family.  You are wrapped deep in your own little cocoon of happiness and wonder.  For those three or four days, nothing else matters.  Then the real world begins…

Coming home from the hospital, now a father of two, was a very sobering and eye opening event.  Sure when our first was born there was anxiety and stress over being a new parent…and that didn’t go away with the second…but walking into my house that day I almost immediately started to question…how am I going to make this work?  A full time job, full time family, and still have time to do things like go out to dinner with my wife, workout, and do the things that I want to do.  How was I going to find the balance in my life between all of the things that make me happy and still maintain a semblance of sanity?

First things first…family always comes first.  No questions about it…my wife and two sons are my priority in life.  Being a husband, a father and a provider for them is the most important job I have and one that I have been looking for my entire life.  There is nothing I would not do or sacrifice for them just to make their lives easier and more fulfilled.  They are the fuel that drives me to push myself harder than I thought possible.  My family also forces me to keep my head out of the clouds.  Not that they hold me back but that they keep me focused on what is important in life.  Love.  Plain and simple.  But there are so many other things that are needed.  Is love enough?  Sure…but we also need a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes on our back.  Love and family provide a sanctuary from what is required to provide those essential pieces.  Work.

My daily commute to work takes me from the suburbs to Manhattan on the ever fabulous MetroNorth Railroad.  If you’ve never experienced MetroNorth…well…let’s just say it is a unique experience.  This ride…door to door…takes up about three hours of my day.  Add that on to a 9 hour work day…and you are looking at half of your typical week day spent at work.  What does that leave during the week?  About an hour (on a good day) for me at home to get my oldest into the bath and then into bed.  This is quite possibly the best part of my day.  Yes…I could move closer to the city…but all that would do would force me to be in the office longer.  Life is a little unbalanced right now.  The most time each day I get to spend with my youngest is the hour late night feeding session we have at anywhere between 12 and 2 am…this time is likely holds a tie for the best part of the day.

As I’ve said…life is a bit unbalanced these days…but I’m not looking for sympathy.  I could do something else…and maybe some day I will…but right now…even though my life balance is off…it is providing what is needed to ensure that my family is happy, healthy, and there for me when I need them to be.  Life is a journey…to be corny…life is a highway…in life however…there is no GPS to tell you where to go.  You have to venture forth and figure it out for yourself.  You have to find that balance.  I’ll get there.

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